The things they don't tell you

When you are browsing through that "Do you want to become a parent?" brochure you should know- there are things that brochure leaves out about being a parent. Things that you can't even imagine dealing with until you become a parent and the situation is upon you.

A few for me so far: sneaking off and eating dog food, sneaking off and eat cat foods, not so sneakily eating sand, floaters in the bath tub, infant poops that go all the way up their backs, putting anything and everything in their mouth, constantly playing with themselves (yes even girls do this one at some point), etc. The list goes on and on.

This morning I encountered one I had not had to deal with before (and honestly hoped I never would). Around 7:20 I heard Sophie in her room playing. I go in to get her and I am instantly enveloped in the stench of Poo. This is pretty odd in it's self because Sophie hasn't pooped over night or in a diaper in quite some time.

I go over to her and we do out normal routine where she pretends to be asleep and I tickle her and bounce her bed to try to get her to wake up. Finally, she looks up at me and says "Poo poo, Mama!" I say "I know you pooped. I can smell it."

Then it happened- she reached out her hand to give me sometime. Not really thinking, I take it. I examine it because her light was still off.

She handed me a TURD!!!!!!!

She had reached down her pants, pulled out her turd and was playing with it. It took all I had not to puke all over her bed. I flush the turd, wash her hands 3 times, cut her nails (cause it was underneath) and make her wash her hands again. Then I went on a mad search to see if there were more turds in the bed.

What a great morning!