The 3 Wise Men

Really? That's what you want to call them? I am pretty sure the term "wise men" is an oxymoron all by itself but to say there are 3 of them- I call bullshit.

Now lets examine the story of baby Jesus's birth and these so called "wise men". The wise men part of the story has always bothered me but none so much as after I had Sophie.

So Mary gives birth, in a manager because there is no room at the inn (really, inn keeper- you see a hugely pregnant woman who rode into town on a DONKEY and you turned her away? You couldn't even make her a make shift bed in the lobby?). Baby Jesus is born and all is wonderful.

Now, these 3 wise men decide to come visit baby Jesus. They get together and actually have the thought of "We should bring something for the baby"- I'll give them SOME props for even thinking of a gift in the first place. But what do they pick? Practical things like blankets? Diapers? Nah- lets get him gold, frankincense and myrh. Gold- eh ok I will give that guy a pass because its gold and therefore like money. But what the heck is frankincense and myrh even? And what is an infant going to do with it? Nothing- that's what.

Even in the classic Christmas song "Do you hear what I hear" it spells it out:

Do you know what I know
A child, a child
Shivers in the cold
Let us bring him silver and gold
Let us bring him silver and gold

Sorry- those are not the gifts of "wise men". The baby is fucking cold- BRING HIM A BLANKET!!




In conclusion, I can only assume these so called "wise men" were not married. Because if they were, their wives would not have let them out of the house with such stupid gifts for a baby. I can only imagine Mary's reaction to her visitors and their gifts. I am envisioning lots of eye rolling and sighing.