Eaten Alive

I am fairly certain there is a zombie in my uterus. Like the flesh eating kind. And it rolls and turns and kicks the shit out of me all. day. long.

I don't remember this with Sophie- being beaten from the inside out but it is happening this time. My poor internal organs are probably bruised and trying desperately to move as far up as they can get in order to avoid Zombie Baby. I don't blame them.

Many pregnant women make birth plans. They lay out on a nice neat word document exactly how they want their births to go. What they want done or not done and when. I am not going to need this. This baby is going to round house kick its way our of my stomach Chuck Norris style.

Hell maybe Chuck Norris is the father. Now that would be kick ass.

Until I have the baby and get Chuck to submit to a paternity test, enjoy this video that cracks me up every time I watch it. Because it's true.